Ramblings.....part 1 of the many others maybe

Relationships why do we have it? Love why do we love, fall in love, fall out of love. People have always gone in and out of relationships in their lives. Not talking about family or friends but more like boy friend and girl friend relationship and the furthermore into marriage. People are simple beings and in a way flawed in many ways. Why do we love? Its because we have a sense to belong. We want to have a person next to you to know you to be with you and to love you. We want people to know more about us. Not all but just a certain individual. To know everything so when you see them they know when you are happy when you are sad so on and so forth whole package basically.

We are weak so we always have to depend on someone or something to help us along our life. Some are weak in a sense that when they have enough of the relationship thing they just end up being alone. People have their own reasons. Maybe they didnt find somebody, maybe someone broke their heart until it cant be fixed, some just want to be alone and some just were never asked out, some just want to work and build their career and some other reasons i may have missed.

Now i see people who are in good relationships, bad relationships, some just had enough of it they just want to enjoy it alone, and of course some are getting married. I have 2 cousins getting married like in less than 2 months time congratulations to them. But i am no focusing on them. Congrats to them though.

Now i see my friends who are in relationships. If its good then good for you. If its bad then why dont you stop? Why do you go on and cling to this so called fake hope like things will be better?? I know people who have been in rough relationships. I have been in one which i got dumped but i cant give 2 shits about it right now anyway. Things i watch do disturb me. Things i hear disturb me just as bad.

People fall in love because they want someone to know them well. They also want to know the other person just as well. Share things together, talk for hours, buy presents and stuff, go for a walk and stuff. Well there are nice things in life, beautiful things in life more than the ugly things in life. Our lives are just as short as a candle in the wind waiting to be blown out and we try to enjoy it as much as we can.

They say its better to love and lost then to not have loved at all. Maybe its true maybe its not. It could be better to not have experienced something bittersweet than to experience it. I have been here in NZ for a bit now and i could say my views have changed. It could be twisted and maybe it is but I am sort of enjoying it. The loneliness is good. It is good not having someone to cling to you. It feels very troublesome because you have to take care of the person's feelings and you have to do things for that person to make that person happy. Then you have to take care of what you say because even the slightest mistake can cause an argument. Shit happens. Guys do their best to understand girls....most of the time maybe girls try to do the same. Its like when a guy says yes it means yes and a no means a no. When a girl says yes then it either means yes or if you do it you are so in trouble. When she says no it means yes or no. Very confusing and vexating.

Feels Like A Beautiful Sadness

Congrats to my 2 cousins for getting married
P.S. I am writing this coz I am low on sugar. I need a fix.

Fear my Baking Skills!!!

so cooking has been like a fav hobby of mine....yes i aint lying would have studied culinary arts instead of business. many thanks to mom, grandpa and grandma for teaching me cooking...and tons of time on the tv watching cooking shows. i do like them and i still do. cooking is fun so now i decided to move on a step....baking....not bad for a first attempt cookies came out a bit burnt on the sides but still very edible and maintained its flavour. got to say thanks to my mom for that her baking skills are like number 1. so decided to hit on some cookies to make. since its holidays i got too much time on my hands and of course i have like some other cookie dough stuff in the cupboard. thanks to mon for reintro me to the baking world from her superb cookies.....then again its instant stuff but who cares its just as good. no my stuff never goes burnt coz i time it to near perfection. of course ppl would be saying show me lah ur skills. i have pics to prove it and prove it i will hahahahah






















hehe baked to prefection. or near prefection. next time when i make some char siew i guess i could blog it and show you my cookin skills. grandma's recipe with my own added stuff to make things a lot nicer. if ur lucky maybe i will bake for you. only baked for a few ppl which are my flatmates. waiting for a bum to come back so we can do muffins....muffinssss



NOW FEAR MY COOKIES!!!!!!





Its Choc Chip Cookies!!!

Of Books, a Macha and a Crappy Haircut

so far the week has been relatively.....so so boredness couldnt kill me yet but still its boring. went to whitcols or watever u spell it watcold??watcool? tofufa-ness oh well i ended up buying 2 books to read...yes surprisingly since i dun like to read much. haha.started reading killing floor first...dun ask why its title was just much more fun and interesting than panic which is blood red. the book ended up like some kinda rambo book....plenty of espionage though. might end up buying the next book.

yesterday i went to celebrate Joshua's bday at 2 fat indians. yes its a restaurant and i aint making fun of any machas. after that we left for the casino...yes sad to say i played. won 5 bucks haha. gambling is a sin....first and last time i am playing. then we headed for shooters to play pool and after a while we left and stayed at ancestral drinking bubble tea and playing cards.

there was a party on friday nearby so there was definately some drinking going on. so me and the 2 machas(josh and pk) went on to minum. we had some gin then was forced to drink like say 2 cups of whisky....not with coke just plain.....a bit too much for me coz i dun like the taste of plain whisky. we ate at mcd's earlier so unfortunately we were sober the whole time. should that be fortunately?????? oh well who cares. the party was broken up the the dumb RA's even though we had permission to have it.

oh i had a haircut also i cant say i am all that happy about it. it disables me from doing the hairstylo i had.























ok so left is before and right is after. see how short it is now die. now can barely push hair back. no more hair cutting. arghhhhh now i'm hungry....maybe i should go bake some cookies later for the fun of it. yes i am bored to that extent.

Things to do/not do

After exams were over i have not done anything. Sienz to the max. Few things which i can do only. Read my story books, sit in front of comp and stare blankly into it, watch some movies, download stuff, sleep. this is boredom at its maximum. even if i do go to the city there isnt much i can do since everything is closed. arghhhhh someone please suggest something for me to do !!!!!

maybe i'll start drawing again that will take up tons of my time or i can go study mandarin/japanese

Re-Piloting

guess i'm back blogging again maybe for a while. its getting boring as i have nothing much to do. exams are over and i dont know what to do. i'm getting bored. anyhow maybe i might be hitting the hot springs since its winter. been out quite a bit the past 2 days. other ppl are busy studying and i'm done with my exams already...oh the boredness.